2007 is the year that I can honestly say I have done almost everything in the haunt industry, but out of all the things which I have done the most difficult one was acting. I had joked about it several times with the crew of the USS Nightmare, and it became reality after a few placed phone calls Saturday afternoon.  Working the morning shift at my regular job meant that I would not make it down to the boat until almost seven pm. starting with a quick actor meeting by Glenna Rizzo I was quickly transformed into one of the denizens of the nightmare by makeup artist Erin Whalen. Originally I was to be one of the breakers who are assigned to give the actors in each room a break when needed, but was later told that I was to have free roam of the ship. I wanted to start with one of the new areas designed on the boat this year which everyone is calling the clown room. I was fortunate enough to start in a scene with a terrific high energy actor known only as, “Jack”. He stood out in my mind from the previous times I had been down to the boat for his ability to work a crowd and make people scream. He told me the best areas to start with and I quickly adapted a routine at the bottom of the steps leading to the gum wall. I would jump out with a loud twisted scream, judge the reactions and either continue if they were scared or work my way up the steps into the crowd beckoning everyone to continue and poking fun of the ones which were scared. I would quickly re-enter the room via an access door ahead of the ones I had just passed and set them up with the help of “Jack” who would slowly twist and contortion himself above them slowly lowering himself down in front of them upside down creating quite the screams, I would always try to add to this by screaming when they did adding what I thought to be witty quips such as, “Oh my a clown”, or “Those silly clowns just can’t be trusted”. It took me roughly three solid hours before my voice was hoarse and starting to crackle, despite making two quick trips outside to drink a class of water. It was around 11:30 when I finally decided to throw in the proverbial towel. After stepping outside I was greeted by a foul smelling odor of what I thought to be dead fish, it was just enough I suppose after hours of grueling sweating and lack of nutrition to peak my queasy stomach. After walking upstairs to have the makeup removed I had to lurch forward and after a few heave-ho’s make myself around 64ounces lighter in two quick motions. While driving home I also experienced three more of these, luckily for me I had a large black sheet in my car which became a towel to hold things. Sleeping it all off I still don’t know if it was heat exhaustion or if I just became victim to several smaller circumstances leading up to it such as the sweat pouring the makeup into my mouth. Today my throat feels like I spend the night gargling rocks, raspy, closed and sore. Still it was a fantastic opportunity to try something fun and the chorus of screams I was able to obtain from everyone made it all worth while in the end. The next time you are visiting a haunted attraction and may encounter a spot without an actor he just may be taking a breather trying to keep from doing what I ended up doing, which was going to hard and fast ending up eating your lunch twice for the day. The actors and staff down at the USS Nightmare give it their best every night to try and put on the best show possible for everyone. They realize that why not everything will scream or be scared they want you to have a good time and be entertained and the boat really is filled of things to accommodate a wide spectrum and variety of people.

article by Randy Karshner

with special thanks to, Allen & Glenna Rizzo, Brian Robbe, Streve Schreibeis, Jason Erwin (The hat made the outfit), Brian Dennison, Erin Whalen, "Jack" (Josh Pfaff), and other actors, And of course all you poor fools who let me scare you the entire night, mu ha ha....